Impossible to sum up….

I know it’s been like forever since I’ve posted, so I’m coming out of hiding because this past weekend is deserving. I could probably write an entire book about it, but I’ll spare you all.

This may be a long post. Be warned. I have a lot in my head that is just itching to get out.

So a summary: I was baptized, I had the best surprise of my life. Not in that order. Intrigued? I bet you are!!!

So I was super excited because not only was this my baptism weekend, but my twin was coming to visit! So she showed up Friday at around 3:30. Acting a little off but I didn’t know why until about 5 minutes later and there was a knock at my door. So I answered the door, and standing there was Catherine and Tiffany from my Africa trip! I was so incredibly shocked! Carrie had picked them up in Buffalo and dropped them off at the end of my street so they could surprise me. I was literally speechless for a good 5 minutes. I had NO idea they were coming. I was so surprised and amazed that they showed up!

So we just sat and relaxed for a bit but I really needed to get some groceries so we went to do that a couple hours later. We got back to my place and about 30 minutes later there was another knock at my door. So I opened it up, and standing at my door was Christina, Madison, and Blake…more of my Africa family. I didn’t know what to say. I was floored. I still am. All of this was arranged by my twin, and boy did she get me good. I still can’t believe that they were all here.

So we just hung out for a bit. Christina, Madison, and Blake were all staying at a hotel so they had to leave to check in. This was everyone’s first time visiting Canada so we decided to trek to Toronto on Saturday to see some sights. It was pretty snowy and cold, but we made it. Took them all to the CN tower even though the visibility was poor. They still got to see the glass floor. That was interesting to watch. We strolled through Kensington Market (it was my first time there and it was lovely!) and made the trek back home. Most of my family was coming over for dinner that night. I was just so excited for my two families to merge together and meet and laugh and be silly and all that fun stuff. I knew everyone would get along. I knew it was going to be amazing to just sit back and watch. Many times during the weekend, I just looked around at everyone and was just amazed. I really couldn’t believe that all these people were sitting in my living room. It was surreal.

So Sunday was the big day. I took them all to my church service, which was awesome and I think they enjoyed it. After that was over, we went to my Mom’s to help get everything ready for the party afterwards. So we just relaxed for a bit and then we made our way down to the lobby to meet the rest of the people who were coming. Once everyone arrived (almost 40 people!) we all made our way to the pool. Before I went out, I wanted to get together with my Africa family for a prayer before. I was so nervous, and emotional and just excited. To be able to share the moment with my family and friends was just so amazing. So off to the pool I went. Jimmy (the lead pastor from my Church) explained the meaning of baptism and then I had to say a few words. I wasn’t sure what to say, so I just started talking. I don’t even remember what I said. I was just trying so hard to keep it together because it was such an emotional moment for me. So once that was done, we jumped in the pool!!! Not the traditional baptism, but I’m not traditional so we just jumped in! Everything is still kind of a blur. Out of the pool I went, and then we all went upstairs to my Mom’s apartment for a little celebration. It was so nice to see everyone and celebrate this day with them. It was probably one of the happiest days of my life. You could definitly feel God’s presence there. It was such an amazing day. I didn’t want it to end. Christina, Madison, and Blake all flew out that evening, so they had to leave. It was hard to say goodbye. I just had flashbacks of saying goodbye at the airport after Africa, and it just made me sad.

C-High, T-Lew and my twin weren’t leaving until the next morning, so we just hung out the rest of the night and watched the Golden Globes. I didn’t want to go to sleep because I didn’t want to wake up and have to say goodbye again. But I did sleep, and I did say goodbye. It was tough.

It was a really emotional weekend for me. I was overwhelmed. That’s an understatement because I don’t think there are enough words to properly explain what it meant to me. I feel so incredibly blessed and loved. And grateful. Grateful for my family. Grateful for my amazing friends. Grateful that they traveled so long just to celebrate this day with me.

Sometimes I have difficulty with my emotions. Ok well most times haha. It’s just hard for me to express how I feel. I don’t really know why…I mean I know why…but I don’t know why. If you can decipher that, I give you props!!! Sometimes I talk myself into thinking that I don’t deserve to give or receive love. That I don’t deserve any good things that come my way. It’s stupid and I hate that I feel like that. But in the past year I’ve really…made some progress to try and change this part of me. My trip to Africa really kind of opened up my heart and since then, my journey has been all about me learning things about myself, and really believing in myself. My journey with God has helped me so much with this. I think about who I would be if I hadn’t allowed Him into my life. I think about the path I’m on now, and how I got here, and everything that’s happened in my life. I think about the person I want to become, and how I am going to make that happen. I think a lot. Too much. I have a lot of stuff going on in my head and it’s hard for me to make sense of it!! I am learning to love more and more everyday. That if I continue to protect my heart, I lose out on so many experiences. I am learning how to love fully and completelty, no matter the risk. It’s hard sometimes, but I have so much more to gain. I need to stop thinking about the risks, and just enjoy the moments. Enjoy the friendships. Enjoy this life. Trust in God’s plan and just let things happen.

I wouldn’t have gotten to this point on my own. I have so many people in my life that I am just so incredibly blessed to know. Incredibly. I could go on and on about them but hopefully, they know how I feel.

I know I am just starting this journey. That my walk with God is just beginning. I know there is so much more for me to accomplish. I cannot wait. I am just so lucky. No matter what life has thrown at me, I’ve always had people to catch me when I fall. Even if I refused to let them. Even if my own stubborness got in the way. I am ready now. Let this journey begin.

Just want to say a big thanks again – especially to my Twin. You are amazing. I can’t thank you enough for putting this whole thing together.

To my Africa family that made the journey. I love you guys. You’ll never know how much it meant to me that you came. Seriously. I am still at a loss for words. I still can’t beleieve you were all sitting in my living room. It made this weekend 100 times more special for me. That you’ve all accepted me for who I am and never made me feel anything other than loved.

To my Mom and Peter, who got everything in order for Sunday. Thank you so much. It was a lot of work and you did it with such ease.

To my family, you guys blow me away with your unconditional love and support for me. You never once questioned my decision, and just supported me 100%. I love you all so, so much.

To my friends that came out Sunday, again, thank you for celebrating with me.

To the rest of my Africa family that couldn’t make it, you are officially off my list of friends! Ha…I’m totally kidding. I wish you all could have been there, but you were not forgotten!

Thanks also to everyone who brought food, helped out in the kitchen, and made a donation to Home of Grace. THANK YOU!!!! 

I am just bursting with love right now. Love for God. Love for my family. Love for my friends. Love for anyone who wants it.

I am lucky. I am blessed. I am flawed. I am learning. I am  me.

In the words of my peeps: ‘Welcome to Heaven beotchhhhhhh’

Girlfriend be gettin dat cheddaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

This Could Be Our Day

What we do here is just the beginning
New life is starting at every ending
We are a part of the story unfolding
This is the weight of the world we are holding
this could be our day

Clearly it’s time to make a change
Or i could keep sitting and waste all day
I know that it’s time for me to move
I’ve been given this minute to use
And given this moment to prove that

What we do here is just the beginning
New life is starting at every ending
We are a part of the story unfolding
This is the weight of the world we are holding
this could be our day

I was holding back
Now I’ve come undone
I want to touch the world
Heal the broken ones
Ending the cycle has just begun
We’ve been given this minute to use
And given this life to prove

What we do here is just the beginning
New life is starting at every ending
We are a part of the story unfolding
This is the weight of the world we are holding
this could be our day

To give ourselves away
For something beautiful
a million miles away
to the one who’s hungry, and thirsty
And needs some hope
To the people that are weary and
broken and left alone
I’m giving myself away
I’ve giving myself away

Addison Road – This Could Be Our Day



Go

Ok so I finally made it!! I’ve been meaning to get this up since Monday night but sometimes I suck at life. So it is what it is.

So Monday night I got the chance to see the Invisible Children Face to Face tour at McMaster University. I was pretty excited, because I love the organization, and the documentary is amazing. They started by showing us a short film called Go which was incredible. They posted a challenge to hundreds of schools across America to fundraise for schools that were destroyed in the war. The top schools got to send students to Uganda to see the work they were doing. It was really interesting and reminded my of my trip. None of the students knew each other, and each person had no idea what was in store for them. One of the students mentioned that she came away with so much more than she had given on that trip. Exactly how each of us felt when we got back home. It was a really good film. Touching, upsetting, and motivating. Then we got to meet Sunday. He was one of the first 100 kids to receive the Legacy Scholarship. He had been night commuting (the kids leave the homes at night to avoid being captured by the LRA) since he was 6 years old to avoid being captured. He spoke about his life and school and how much the scholarship has helped him. He finished high school and will now be attending college! I bought the film because it was awesome and I want to share it with people. So if you want to watch, hit me up y’all!

Then on Wednesday, I watched a documentary on the new CBC documentary channel called Where’s My Goat? It was really interesting. Basically, this guy owns this business and he gives ethical gifts instead of the regular swag. He would purchase goats from Plan Canada to send to underdeveloped countries. One of his clients asked him one day if he thought the goats were actually going where they were supposed to. So, he decided to find out. He found out where most of his goats had been sent (and he had sent over 50 of them so far) and he flew all the way to Zambia to try to track them down. After chasing the paper trail, he ended up in a small village. Along the way, he talked with many people asking them if they thought that purchasing goats for families actually made any difference. Most people said no. He wanted to prove them wrong. So he went to the village and met the family who had received 4 goats. They had enough to eat. They could afford to send their kids to school. They had status in the village. They weren’t struggling as much as other families without goats were. It was pretty cool that he had the balls to do this. Most people wouldn’t care. It’s also good for people who doubt some of these organizations. They actually do what they say they are doing. That can’t be said for every “charitable” organization out there.  Sidenote: there are so many goats in Kenya, and I’m sure, most of Africa. They are everywhere.

It just made me think that I am still not doing enough. There is so much more I can be doing, but I just can’t think of what it is. I want to start my own organization but I need to do some serious brainstorming. I think the biggest challenge is to not just ask people for money. We need to get them involved and educated and motivated. That way they have the power to educate and motivate people. That’s the key. So if you have any brilliant ideas, send them my way please and thanks!

So what else?? Not much going on really. New service times start for church on Sunday. They made 1 service instead of 2 so it should be more exciting with more people. Yay. Home church starts next week, and I’m really looking forward to that. It’ll be my first time attending and I’m excited to meet lots of new people.

Bones makes me sad. However I’m glad it’s back! That’s all the tv talk for me. Except that next week they are doing a Jersey Shore themed episode and I think I may pee my pants because Brennan thinks she watched a documentary but really she was watching Jersey Shore. She kills me.

Hope everyone is having a swell week! Tomorrow is Friday. Saturday is my brothers girlfriend Sara’s birthday so that’s pretty exciting. Going to do some karaoke! Yes!

Strangers and flags

So I guess I’m in sort of a mood. Not sure what it is though. Just thinking a lot it seems.

I was looking across the street at a government building and I found myself staring at the Canadian flag. I have a thing for flags. Love them. Love the sound they make flapping away in the wind. Love what they stand for. I do appreciate living in a country where I have access to basically anything I want at anytime. Not everyone is so lucky. Doesn’t mean I can have these things, just that they are easily accessible. I think about this a lot. Because of where I was born pretty much determines most of my life. Healthcare, education, food, water and all those wonderful things we all sometimes take for granted. It just makes me sad. I’m really missing Kenya. I want to be back there hanging out with the kids. I want to hug them. I want to see their smiling faces. It’s only been over 3 months since I’ve been back but it really feels like longer.

It doesn’t really matter where everyone comes from. We’re all still human. We all have stories to tell. We all have hardships. I think people forget that sometimes. We’re often too wrapped up in our own troubles that we forget about other people’s. I’m guilty of this as well. But the thing is, people seem to be so unwilling to connect to others. I walk around the mall everyday and I like to make eye contact with people and smile. Most people don’t even look at anyone else. They just keep their eyes straight ahead. I mean, I know there are a lot of characters downtown..but still. We’re all connected yet a lot of people just don’t want to bother. Maybe it’s just me.

I saw this girl on the bus today. She works in the mall and I just realized today that she is very pregnant and I’d never noticed. One thing I did notice, however, is that she was smoking. She had a smoke before the bus got to our stop, and she lit one up as soon as she got off. We got off at the same stop. I wish God would will that baby into someone else’s uterus. She’s already a crappy mother and she hasn’t even given birth yet.

I love the farmers market. They have this Indian food place which makes the best veggie Indian style egg rolls. Seriously good. I also love my new tupperware. Keeps my veggies super fresh for like 5 times longer than normal. Tupperman Dan is the man. Obviously, because that’s his title.

I’ve talked about Invisible Children before. Next Monday, the face to face tour is coming to McMaster University. For more info, visit here I’m really, really excited to go. I can’t wait to hear these kids speak. If you’re around, please come out.

That’s enough of my extremely random ramblings for tonight. Peace and God bless.

I don’t like to fly but I got to see C-HIGH!

So I’m blogging a lot of random stuff today because that’s how I roll. I’m also very tired and a little loopy. Not because of drugs or anything. Just because I’m tired.

Got home from the Nash last night just after midnight. Tracy is such a blessing to me. She picked me up Sunday at 5am to catch my flight and picked me up at 10 last night. I flew out of Buffalo so it’s not a fun drive. So thank you to her for that.

Oh – ya I decided to go to Nashville. Because one of my girls from my Africa trip was in a car accident and I really wanted to see her. So my twin and I just made it happen. Well she made it happen. But we went. She was released from the hospital on Saturday which was good because otherwise we would have driven 3 hours to Knoxville to see her.

So we showed up Sunday late afternoon…with Lindsay (Carrie’s friend who picked us up at the airport), T-Lew, Mike, Ian, Carrie and myself.  Catherine didn’t know we were coming and we wanted to surprise her. Which we did. It was awesome. She was shocked. She’s doing much better. I’m so glad I got to see her. I’ve been worried sick since I found out and I don’t think I would have been ok until I got to see her in person. She’s in such good spirits and is surrounded by amazing people who are taking good care of her. She’s just amazing and has such a good attitude about this whole ordeal. I love that girl. She is such a special person and I’m so glad she is ok.

We got to see Bill too which was nice! Got to see the Zambooie offices which was super cool. Carrie and I are pretty much gonna move in and work there. We just haven’t told anyone yet.

So it was a really short visit but an amazing one. I got to see my Twin, who I’ve missed a ton. That was awesome. Great visit with some great friends who I miss dearly. Also a big thanks to T-Lew and Mike for letting us crash at their place.

Also…we all got to see my Twin’s mad ukulele skills. Seriously. This girl can play Happy Birthday better than ANYONE! When it’s tuned. Oh Gypsy Rose, I miss you already.

Random note: I forgot to put deodorant on today and I thought it was gonna be balls. I sweat a lot. You can ask people. It’s weird. So ya – didn’t sweat all day today! I also didn’t smell. TMI? I don’t care. My blog. So…now I’m facing a dilemma. Do I just stop wearing deodorant now? Test this theory? I think Robyn will have a problem with it. I’ll decide tomorrow morning.

Another random – I need to let my OCD take over me for the next few weeks or months. Because my life feels very disorganized right now so I need to bust out the pen and paper and start my lists. I think this will help me. I feel like there are big changes coming in my life and I need to be prepared for whatever it will be.

So that’s all I got. Watching Wipeout and am stoked for the season premiere of Parenthood tonight. Love that show.

Peace out yo!

Your Mom and random Pooper visits.

Tuesday. Good day for a blog right? I thought so too.

So today I had the most random and awesome visit to my work! My Pooper friend Carla was in town all the way from Iowa. (well she didn’t come specifically for me) However, she was driving through on her way to the Falls and stopped by to say hello. She was with her man and 2 friends. Doing a crazy cross country vacation on his bad ass motorcycle.

So that was cool. Oh, a picture you ask? Well here you go:

So that was cool. Oh..don’t let the term Pooper confuse you. It’s a group of friends I have known for over 10 years. Our story is neat. I’ll blog about it one day. Anyways, we named ourselves the Pooping Pandas but we call ourselves the Poopers. The name has nothing to do with poop. Still with me?

So what else is new? I’ve been reading a lot lately. I miss it! I finished a book that The Wang lent me called The End of Religion by Bruxy Cavey. He’s the lead pastor at my church. It was really interesting to read. It kind of mirrors a lot of my thoughts about religion and all that jazz. He’s a cool dude and an excellent writer. You can check out his site http://www.theendofreligion.org/

Now I’m reading another book that my super awesome friend Jill sent me. It’s called Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious thoughts on Christian spirituality by Donald Miller. I’m so sucked in by this book I can’t even tell you. I just want to read it over and over. I’m halfway through but I don’t think I want it to end. It’s such an awesome story. It reminds me of one of my favourite books, The Perks of Being A Wallflower. Not because of the subject matter but just the way it is written and the perspective the author gives. I can’t wait to finish it and read it again! And share it because it’s worth passing along. I will share with you something from this book that really is..well awesome. And…it’s just the Author’s note!

I never liked jazz music before because jazz music doesn’t resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for 15 minutes, and he never opened his eyes. After that I liked jazz music.
Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before youcan love it yourself

So what else? Oh – Canvas Cafe has sold over 25 SHIRTS!!! This makes me so happy. It’s been cool working there and talking to customers and stuff. Plus everyone seems to love the shirts and we need to order more. So that means that 25 more people join the AWESOME club! YA!

I think that’s all from me.

That. Is. All.

This shirt really does change lives!

Ok so consider this my official announcement! I know the Cafe has been posting about it, and I’m slow. But I wanted to make it pretty!

If you read any blogs, let it be this one. It’s important. Life changing. Fantastic. Awesome. Fun.

So a selection of the awesomely amazing shirts from http://www.thisshirtchangeslives.com/
are now available at Canvas Cafe in Burlington! I’ll post the selection below but we can always special order just for you so just let us know! Or drop by the store because they are displayed proudly on the wall!

I love this company. I love the people who work for it. I think the shirts are awesome. Super comfy. I’d wear mine everyday if I could.

$25 per shirt. $5 goes directly to help out in and around Nairobi, Kenya. I’ve seen where this money goes with my own eyes. I can tell you that $5 DOES GO A LONG WAY! You have no idea how much it helps. So pick up a shirt. Pick up two. Give them as gifts. They are awesomely unique. Except of course when these shirts take over the world. It’s coming people. Get them first so you don’t look like a follower!!

For more info on the shirts, or where the money is going, ask a staff at the cafe. I will be there working this Saturday so stop on in and say hello. I’d be more than happy to talk to you about my visit to Kenya. I promise you’ll love my stories.

Here are the shirts available at the store:

The projects being supported are the  Emmanuel Vocational and Technical Training School, and the New Dawn School in Kenya. Awesome schools that are dedicated to educating children so they can have a better life for themselves. These kids are special and deserve every opportunity we do.

The cafe is located at 388 Plains Rd E in Burlington. Check out the site 
here